Fine Young Cannibals by Wolf Parade
For some reason can’t get enough of this song [sic]. I want to make a movie set in the 80’s [sic] about a guy who travels back in time from the 2000’s [sic] to seduce 80’s [sic] chicks using all the tricks he learned from Brat Pack movies. This will be his theme song.
Well that was it. The first one. Five years ago. What follows is the last one, but I thought it would be neat to come full circle.
No idea how to say goodbye. So I will tell you what I’ve learned the last five years as a result of and notwithstanding this pretentious thing. We’ll see how that works.
- Your kids are the most important things in the world; they make it worth it. But don’t ever tell them that.
- David Foster Wallace is my generation’s writer.
- Arcade Fire is my generation’s band.
- I may be the only person in my generation.
- You be the one to define.
- Music still matters just as much as you want it to.
- Thinking about things is important. Deciding the things to think about is more important.
- I miss my dad.
- I’m a sucker for YouTube “surprise dad is home from overseas military service” videos.
- Golf is boring.
- Baseball is boring, and that’s why I love it.
- The word “notwithstanding” is confusing and ridiculous.
- Loving to read is the best thing anyone can learn.
- Food is worth it, pay the price, get the Waygu steak, get the halibut cheeks, get the brie, you may never pass that way again.
- Tattoos are cool.
- If they are not at the beach, swimming pool, or on vacation, men shouldn’t wear flip-flops.
- Smoking used to be cool. (N.B. But once in a while it still is.)
- Friends are the thread in the tapestry of your life.
- I will never understand people’s obsession with and devotion to dogs.
- Our governor is a moron, and our small forward is a prince, but Oklahoma is more than Mississippi with oil and the NBA. There are great things here. Important things. Fun things. But the souls of the Okies are the best.
- It’s ok to get bored with things. Just find new ones.
- I love tramp stamps.
- There are reasons America is the best, but America can be better.
- Being taught to fish is liberating.
- No one will ever love Drive-by Truckers
- I’m fairly certain I’ve been using “N.B.” incorrectly all this time.
- You can never say “thank you” enough.
- Facebook is nerdy.
- You can never say “I love you” enough.
- Tomorrow is infinitely less important than today.
- They will never make a movie as good as the Shawshank Redemption.
- I will never write anything better than this.
- Words win.
- It’s ok to be right and to know you’re right.
- Admit when you’re wrong.
- I’ve been in countless churches in my beloved state but the only place I’ve ever been that feels like holy ground is standing in front of the reflecting pool staring at 168 empty chairs.
- I married the right woman. You’re not a princess; you’re a fucking superhero. I love you.
I think that’s it. I’ll miss you guys. If you see me, anywhere anytime, I will buy you a beer (N.B. and not in the “hey let’s grab a beer sometime” hollow euphemism for hanging out. I will literally take you to a bar and buy us both beers), we’ll sit and talk about music, and life, and spouses, and our kids, and those stories we share that knit us together (N.B. but not politics or religion), and it will be like…