To My D-Nuts ~
When I was a little girl, my mom always told me that I would be very lucky if at the end of my life I had five true friends. You have been and are a true blue friend all the way. I hope you know that I love you. I will try to be there for you as someone you can trust and count on. That is my pledge as your friend.
Everyday, I wake up with the purpose to answer ‘yes’ to the following questions: Am I loved? Did I love well? I am still working on these. But, I want you to know that your friendship and unconditional love have always been a guidance to me.
I love you D.
Carol M. Hxxxxx
P.S. Happy Belated Birthday!
Written on the first page of a used copy of the Miles Davis Autobiography I bought a couple of weeks ago.
- Carol’s mom didn’t have a lot of friends.
- Buying used books on Amazon has replaced iTunes as my hopeless consumer crack cocaine. This book cost $.25. Somehow they fuck me on the shipping and handling. I’m just not sure how.
- Does it make you sad that in the end D-Nuts didn’t care enough about Carol to at least rip this heartfelt page from the book before she dumped it in some used book bin ultimately to end up in my hands. That’ll teach you to miss someone’s birthday;
- or what if D-Nuts crossed Carol in some unforgivable way and eviscerating guilt led D-Nuts to rid her bookshelf of this constant reminder;
- or what if D-Nuts could give a shit about Miles;
- or what if D-Nuts is dead and I’m a fucking asshole?
- As far as the “everyday purpose to answer ‘yes’ “questions, I would add: (1) Do I know where I am?; and (2) Am I still a gangsta’ ?”
- I’m going ‘Deborah’ for D-Nuts, with a nod to ‘Desiree.’ Thoughts? (N.B. although, it’s not clear D-Nuts is a female. I guess D-Nuts could be male. If that’s the case 100% ‘Damon.’)
- As you look at it, does that picture of Miles make you feel cold? Because that may be the coldest shit I’ve ever seen.
- “Cooler than Freddy Jackson sippin’ a milkshake in a snowstorm.”