Weekly Download No. 50

With a Little Help From my Friends by you know who. By my crude calculations, 9/29/2010 marked the one year anniversary of Weekly Download (and it appears I’ve missed two weeks, or may have counting issues, or may have even given myself a couple weeks of vacation.  Forgive me).

And in appreciation of you, dear readers, here are my ten (in no particular order) favorite quotes from your responses. (parentheticals by yours truly)
1. “I was trying to think of a nice way to ask you to stop sending me these e-mails.  Then I remembered how big of an asshole you are sometimes.  So, please stop sending me these e-mails.” 

2.  “Win Butler is a pretty nice guy, actually.  He was pretty painfully shy, behind in math (like I was), played JV basketball, and covered Cure songs at school talent shows with his best friend Jesson, who really dorked out watching Plan 9 from Outer Space and making hundreds of elegant finger paintings in the style of Miro.” (I didn’t know who it was either).

3.  “But that takes a lot of trust on my part. I mean you’re really putting your balls out there when you know that after this Ramones track there is always a mathematical chance that Whitney Houston might be the next shuffled to song.”


4. “The title of led zepplin’s [sic] first album is “1.” (Brackets, mine. You had better spell correctly when you argue with me, Bradley.) 

5. “I enjoy the way you lose it around the curve and struggle to get the bike back on track and avoid careening over the railing of the Pacific Coast Highway to a watery Cali death.”


6. “Please make the Buller movie.  Please.”

7. “But really…you like that shiz? 49 second intro with 2 chords – not even Michael Jackson could pull that off.”
8. “I have no clue why I had to pick this e-mail out of the SPAM filter.”

9.  “Sans Mike Tyson, Donavan McNabb has the easiest black man voice to pinpoint.”

10. “I think BOK has a two ‘masturbatorial’ limit per email.”

Gold.

And a few WD stats that probably only I  find interesting:
  1. 50 Weekly Downloads totaling: 3.4 hours
  2. Longest song: Fireworks by Animal Collective
  3. Shortest song: Long Division by Fugazi
    1. Both of these I find comically ironic.
  4. Covers: 6
    1. Cactus by David Bowie (Pixies)
    2. Billie Jean by Chris Cornell (Michael Jackson)
    3. My Brain is Hangin’ Upside Down by Macon Greyson (Ramones)
    4. Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ya by Dropkick Murphys (Traditional)
    5. I Never Cry by Nina Simone (Alice Cooper)
    6. I’m Going Down by Vampire Weekend (The Boss)
  5. Songs by dead artists: 5
    1. The Man Comes Around by Johnny Cash
    2. I Never Cry by Nina Simone
    3. To Live’s To Fly by Townes Van Zandt
    4. If I Can Dream by Elvis Presley
    5. With a Little Help from my Friends by The Beatles (well, 50%)
  6. Songs from artists I had never heard of prior to offering them as a WD: 10
    1. Quiet Little Voices by We Were Promised Jet Packs
    2. Floating Vibes by Surfer Blood
    3. What’s in it for by Avi Buffalo
    4. Lost in Time by Stellastarr*
    5. Tell ‘Em by Sleigh Bells
    6. The Mermaid Parade by Phosphorescent
    7. World News by Local Natives
    8. Serotonin by Mystery Jets
    9. King of the Beach by Wavves
    10. Golden Haze by Wild Nothing
    11. Big River by The Secret Sisters
  7. Worst Download: Billie Jean by Chris Cornell
  8. Best Download: Shine a Light by Wolf Parade
  9. Artist Stats
    1. Animal Collective: 2 songs
    2. The Black Keys: 2 songs
    3. Drive-By Truckers: 2 songs
    4. Vampire Weekend: 2 songs
    5. Girls: 2 songs
    6. Wolf Parade: 3 songs
    7. Pearl Jam: 0 songs (sighs)
  10. Rant stats
    1. 15,065 total words (good lord, get to work)
    2. Grammatical mistakes: 0
    3. Punctuation mistakes: 0
    4. Spelling mistakes: 0
    5. Uses of the word masturbatorial: at least 3
    6. References to heroin: 2
    7. Quotes from Albert Camus: 1
    8. Quotes from Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy: 1
  11. Number of People who have asked to be removed from the distribution list: 1
  12. Net difference in age of that person when compared to the average age of everyone else on this list: +5
And finally my favorite music recommendations from you (ranked in particular order) (and I think it’s telling that there are only seven.  You all are slacking.  I don’t know anything about music.  I expect you to enlighten me.  Please, always tell me what you’re listening to.)

7. The Oath by Street Sweeper Social Club.  This song manages to pull off the ever tenuous rap/rock hybrid.  I’m not talking about Faith No More any more than 99 Problems.  There is just that special place where it works, where it’s neither a rap song with a guitar riff nor rock song with a rap verse.  It’s just a song, a perfect combination, and it’s unreal.

6. When I’m Small by Phantogram.  Closing credits to the biopic of my life (Heat-version).

5. Weekend Irish by Barleyjuice. I love the premise of this song.  These guys have (I think correctly) identified people’s tendency to exaggerate (or hell, even event) their Irish heritage for the sole purpose of using it as an excuse to get loaded (as in “Let’s go Irish it up a bit”).  Let’s not forget that of the top-ten most discriminated against ethnicities in US history, the Irish have got to be in the top 5.  Irish Need Not Apply.  I giggle every time I think about it. “And the blood runs deep, when the booze is cheap.”  Brilliant.

4. Dry the Rain by The Beta Band.  A band I’d always heard of but never really listened to.  This song actually makes me feel like it’s raining outside.  Really good.
3. Helicopter by M. Ward. “This song…was recorded…before ……” What? Recorded before what?  It’s still awesome.  Reminds me of Johnny Cash…..if he was born…… after…..

2. Heartbeats by The Knife.  I want to live in this song.  I wish it lasted thirty minutes.  I’m going to burn it on a CD in such a way that I can press play in my car when my garage door opens and it plays continuously all the way to work every morning.

1. Such Great Heights by Iron and Wine.  This song was accompanied with the recommendation that “it’s a beauty.”  It is a beauty.  How I had never heard it before (it’s from 2002) I don’t know (It certainly would have affected the WD top 10 songs of the decade).  It’s a song that’s reached a very short list of songs that…(and I can’t come up with the words to describe them).  Let’s just say it’s in my very short list of songs.  It’s a perfect song. Listen to it and try to disagree.

Thanks guys.
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